What I didn't know about hormonal birth control.......

When my husband and I first got married, we decided that I would take birth control pills. We knew other Christian couples who did this, and to be perfectly honest, we didn't really even question whether or not it was wrong. As far as we knew, birth control pills stopped ovulation, so there was no chance of getting pregnant. I admit that I didn't read the fine print on the birth control label, and I don't even remember praying about this decision. I noticed that I didn't feel very well while taking the pills. I think my body didn't respond very well to the hormones in the pills, and I often felt irritable and had symptoms of PMS almost all month long. About 9-10 months after we were married, I began to have some very serious abdominal pain that caused me to have to see an urgent care doctor. I had switched birth control brands a short time before that, and although I have no proof, I suspect the abdominal pain was linked to the birth control pills. The doctor could not find anything conclusive, and the pain subsided. One day at work, a friend of mine brought up the subject of birth control pills. She told me she had learned that there could be evidence that birth control pills had a failsafe built into them - if the pills failed to prevent ovulation, and sperm makes it past the thickened cervical mucus and fertilizes an egg, then the pills could cause the lining of the uterus to thin and become hostile for a fertilized egg to implant. I was SHOCKED, because I had never heard that before. I had rather mixed emotions - first shock, then horror, then denial, then horror again. Since I was not feeling well from taking the pills anyway, and because I was worried there was even a CHANCE that what my friend had told me was true, we decided to go off the pills almost immediately.

We made a decision not to go back on pills ever again, or any type of hormonal birth control. But I didn't really want to know the truth. I didn't really want to know if what my friend had said was true. I just decided that I wouldn't use that kind of birth control. Many years later, I did start doing some research, and I have been led to believe that there is a fail-safe built into hormonal birth control (pills and IUDs, and I believe it is possible in shots and the patch as well). I have heard of people getting pregnant while on pills or with an IUD in place, but I still believe these forms of birth control are designed to prevent implantation. It may not always prevent implantation, but I tend to think that is the exception rather than the rule. I believe that human life begins when an egg is fertilized by a sperm, even if it hasn't implanted yet. I know there would be many that disagree with me, but it is my personal belief that that is when life starts. Because I believe this way, I do not want to do anything to destroy (or cause rejection of implantation) the fertilized egg. My heart breaks that I did not know this information when I first got married, because if I did, I never would have used the pills.

The Bible is clear on how God feels about children - they are a gift and a blessing from God. The Bible doesn't say how many or how few children we are to have. I believe that the number of children you have is not an indication in and of itself of how spiritual you are. There are many examples in the Bible of believers who were barren (at least for a time), or who had one child. Take Hannah for example. She was barren for awhile before God blessed her with Samuel (and later other children as well). The Bible does not state that Hannah was living in disobedience or being punished with barrenness. Also consider Sarah, the wife of Abraham. She only had one child, Isaac. The Bible does not indicate that Sarah was judged on how much she loved God based on the number of children she had. I don't think it is a sign that you love God if you have 12 children. I don't think it is a sign that you are unspiritual if you have no children, or "just" 1 or 2. God allows some people to get pregnant very easily and have many children, and for others, He allows infertility, making it impossible, or near impossible to conceive. One of my greatest pet peeves is how some people make other people feel about the area of children. There are some that look down on couples with either no children, or 1 or 2 children and treat those couples as if something is wrong with them spiritually. But on the other hand, just as offensive is that some people look down on families with many children, and constantly make remarks about how crazy they are for having so many children.

However, as with any area of our lives, I think it is important for Christians to examine their hearts to see if they are seeking God's will in the matter of birth control. Am I surrendered to the Lord about what He wants for my life? Am I trusting Him in the area of fertility, to let Him choose the number of children I have? (Now, please do not misunderstand. I don't believe it is right for couples to have children that they honestly cannot provide and care for. But sometimes people take that too far, and say that they cannot afford kids AND the latest car, the most exotic vactions, the biggest house, etc. You know what I mean?) There have been times in our marriage where another child would have been very difficult to have because of some health problems I was having. While my heart longed for more children, we felt it best to wait until my health improved. There were other times where we were in between insurance companies, and needed to wait several months to get accepted and set up with the new company before having a child. There were other times where we worked to get our finances in order to be able to provide for another child. We decided on non-hormonal birth control during those times (when I say non-hormonal birth control, I am speaking about birth control that does not destroy or prevent implantation of a fertilized egg). I know there are those who disagree even with non-hormonal birth control, and I respect their conviction about this. We have asked the Lord for guidance about this, and continue to seek His will in this matter.


In conclusion, I want to share some links for further reading on this subject. What are your thoughts on this topic?
Link 1
Link 2
Link 3

Modesty Series, Part 1

Talk about a loaded word - modesty! It is often not a comfortable topic, but it is a necessary one. I have found that there are just so many different opinions about what modesty means in today's culture. Sometimes it even seems overwhelming because in Christian circles, people believe so differently about this subject. I'd like to offer some simple, straightforward ideas about this subject.  My goal is to simply write about my perspective, and not come across as a condescending know-it-all or a self-righteous judge. It is my personal belief that the Lord is the One that brings conviction for areas we are to change in our life. I didn't always know, understand, or believe the way I do now about issues of modesty.

 I don't have the belief that God hears my prayers because I wear skirts, but He doesn't hear yours because you wear pants. I don't believe that I will be getting a fancier mansion than you because I don't wear low cut tops, or short shorts, or spaghetti strap dresses, or fill in the blank. I don't believe that dressing a certain way earns me salvation. I don't believe that I have any favor with God because I wear or don't wear certain things. I don't believe God loves me more than you if your clothes are different than mine. And lastly, I don't believe I am some sort of judge over you that can dictate to you what you can and cannot wear in order to be right with God. I have some OPINIONS, and I can share with you MY EXPERIENCE, but what you wear is between you and God.

I grew up in the Midwest mostly. I was raised by parents who trusted Christ as their Savior shortly before I was born. They loved the Lord with all their heart, and it showed. They did their best to raise their children according to Biblical principles. My mother told me that when she got saved, one of the things that she was immediately convicted about was wearing very short shorts, dresses, and skirts. I never remember seeing my mother dressed immodestly a day in my entire life. My mom let me wear shorts and jeans to play in, but insisted I wear a dress or skirt to church. That's just what we did. That's what pretty much all the girls and ladies in our church did. We wore dresses or skirts to church because it felt like a way to show respect to the Lord by dressing up in our best clothes.

When I went to a large Christian college, I was told that pants were not allowed. I didn't have too big a problem with that, because it was only going to be for four years. There were times when it seemed annoying, but it wasn't too bad. But then I started hearing some chapel messages on why pants weren't a good choice for Christian ladies. I was speechless! Then I was mad! What????? What in the world are you talking about? How could pants be wrong? I didn't wear tight pants, like what the style was (well, tight pants during the 90's are nothing compared to the skinny jeans of today, but anyway). As long as my pants weren't tight, I didn't see a problem. I had surrendered my whole life to the Lord, and I didn't think I was holding anything back. I was in college to train to go the mission field. I was not living in open sin towards the Lord. So it made me actually furious to be told that I was perhaps doing something that didn't please the Lord. Perhaps some of you have been confronted about something you were wearing, and felt the same way. It doesn't feel good, does it?

But wait. As I look back, I see a couple things. First, my immediate reaction to being confronted with an area to consider was to become angry and defensive. That is not the mark of surrender to the Lord. I could have prayed about it, to ask God to give me wisdom on this subject. But I didn't want to do that. I didn't want to think that I could have thought wrong about this. I blamed the chapel speaker, and picked apart everything he said. I told myself he was just so condescending and judgmental that I didn't need to listen to THAT! So, I didn't. I closed my Bible during the chapel service, and sat with my arms crossed. How dare he imply that I, a good Christian girl, could possibly be wearing something that displeased the Lord!

The kicker is that I was planning to be a missionary to Africa after college. I had been two missions trips to Africa already, and I knew that is where I wanted to end up. I also knew that meant giving up pants, because I was planning to go to a remote village to share the gospel and work among the people, and I had already been told that culturely, pants would not be acceptable in remote villages. So, I was already planning to give up pants. Just not because I thought they were wrong, but because they were culturally unacceptable. Bottom line, I just didn't want to be told I COULD BE WRONG.

Fast forward several years. My husband grew up in a pastor's family of a Baptist church, and his mom and sister did not wear pants or shorts. But my husband was willing to let me continue to wear pants until such a time as I decided on my own that I preferred dresses or skirts, if that time came. I knew he would prefer me to wear skirts or dresses, but he honestly left if up to me. As time went along, the issue still nagged at me. I began to feel uncomfortable in jeans. The styles of the day were getting even tighter , and it was hard to find loose-fitting pants. The words I had heard in those college chapels came back to me, about how pants automatically draw attention to certain parts of a woman's body. I had scoffed at that idea when I was in college, but I had to admit that yes, pants did draw at least SOME attention to certain areas that skirts did not. As I looked in the mirror, I couldn't deny it much longer. My jeans DID seem revealing. I noticed that I felt more lady-like and feminine in a skirt. It also hid my figure more than pants did. No, I'm not saying I looked like I was wearing a potato sack. (See, a lot of girls think that there are two options - jeans or a potato sack. But ladies, there are PLENTY of cute, modern skirts out there that don't make you look like a pioneer woman.)

Now, my husband also became the principal of a Christian school around this time. I am sure that part of my uncomfortableness with pants was caused by realizing that my husband had a position of spiritual leadership, and as his wife, students and parents would be watching us. There is a fine line between fear of man (desperately trying to please everyone just to make yourself look better) and setting a high standard. This is not just true in Christian circles, but in the secular work place as well. When I was in high school, I was a cashier at a large grocery store. We cashiers had a somewhat relaxed dress code. If I remember right, we could wear something as basic as a tshirt, jeans, and sneakers. But the store boss wore dress pants, shirt, and tie every day. His position of leadership was easily recognizeable by his attire. It was expected that he dress more professionally than us. People do hold those in leadership positions to higher standards, whether you like it or not. As the wife of the principal, I felt I needed to hold myself to a higher standard, and I decided to put aside pants and  wear skirts or dresses.

So, this whole post has kinda gone on and on mostly about pants. Am I saying that pants are the biggest issue here? No. Modesty is so much more than "to wear pants, or to not wear pants." I am really just telling my back story so that you can maybe understand my perspective. I feel that I understand both sides of this issue, because I have been on both sides. I'll be adding part 2 soon, and I'll talk about more than just the pants issue!

What's so wrong about Contemporary Christian Music?

Contemporary Christian music is a huge issue in today's churches. Many churches are leaving the old traditional hymns behind, and embracing Contemporary Christian music. David Cloud (Way of Life Ministries) has put together an excellent DVD entitled "Foreign Spirit of Contemporary Worship Music." It is a current video (March 2012) and is well-documented. This is an excellent resource for anyone wanting to know WHY Contemporary worship music has no place in a Christian's life.

HERE is the link for this DVD.

Discipleship Training

Have you heard of Bright Lights? "Bright" stands for Being Radiant In Godliness, Holiness, and Testimony. Their website gives the purpose of this ministry - "to give practical training in godliness, to encourage young woman to live the years of their youth fully for Christ, to provide edifying fellowship and accountability, and to be a group which will minister to others." Our church is in the process of starting a Bright Lights group in about three weeks. This is a discipleship training program for young girls, although they have also started a new group for young boys called The Light Shop. You can check out their website for more details on this program, as well as how you could start a Bright Lights ministry in your own church. Our church purchased the training manual and dvds so that all of our workers could learn the philosophy behind this ministry. The training dvds have been excellent! The Bright Lights lessons teach concepts such as children giving their heart to their parents, learning how to get along with brothers and sisters, having a clear conscience before God, and many others. The recommended ages for a Bright Lights group is for girls age 10-13. Our church has decided that we are going to also adapt the lessons for girls as young as second grade. While we whole-heartedly believe in reaching teen girls for Christ and discipling them, we are finding that many girls are already "set in their ways" by the time they reach their teen years, and often have a hardened heart towards the things of the Lord. We are hoping to reach younger girls and teach them Biblical concepts before they even reach those extremely critical years.

Why I am an Independent Fundamental Baptist

*The purpose of this post is simply to inform. My intent is NOT to offend in any way. Some of the people closest to me genuinely do not understand why I believe what I believe and this post is an attempt to clarify those beliefs, at least a little bit. If you disagree with me, we can still be friends. It does not offend me if you do not believe the exact same way as I do, and I most certainly do not think I am better than anyone else if they do not see eye-to-eye with me. Our Christian walk is a journey, and we are ultimately accountable to the Lord, not to an individual.

My family and I attend an independent fundamental Baptist church. But what exactly IS an independent fundamental Baptist church? The thoughts I have written here are taken from a study our church did awhile back called Christian Mentoring A to Z. (The study covered all kinds of areas such as assurance of salvation, obedience to God, baptism, reaching the world, victorious Christian living, and many other areas.) We used Scripture passages to learn about what God says in the Bible about different issues. One section was on the history of the Baptist church, and the fundamental principles (Baptist discinctives) that our church teaches, and most of the thoughts in this post come from that section.

Before I begin, I want to stress the fact that I do not believe I am saved because I attend a Baptist church. I do not even believe that God loves me more because I attend a Baptist church. I have no extra merit with God because I attend a Baptist church. I am saved by God's grace, because I have placed my full dependence and faith on Jesus Christ, and He alone has saved me. Not Jesus plus good works. Not Jesus plus church membership. My faith is in Jesus Christ's shed blood for my sins, and I am trusting Him for eternal life in heaven because He paid the full penalty for my sins. I cannot save myself in any way. The only merit I have with God is that when He looks at me, He sees Jesus' blood covering my sins, and so He accepts me as one of His own, on the basis of His Son's finished work on the cross.

A Baptist church is Baptist if it holds to and carries out the basic teachings of the New Testament.

B - Bible is our only rule of faith and practice

A - Autonomy of the local church

P - Priesthood of the believer

T - Two ordinances of the church (baptism and the Lord's Supper)

I - Individual soul responsibility

S - Separation (personal, ecclesiastical, and political)

T - Two officers of the church (pastor and deacons)

Distinctive #1 - The Bible is our only rule of faith and practice

A mutual and common adherence to the whole Bible and its authority is the cohesive force among Baptists. Other churches often follow a leader or founder, and have to adhere to confessions or articles put forth by their founder. The soul of man bows to the authority of the Bible, making reason, the church, and personal experience all subordinate to it. The Bible is the written revelation of God and is complete.

Distinctive #2 - Autonomy of each local church

Each local church is sovereign and cannot be controlled by any board, hierarchical system, or other church. Autonomy means: independent, self-governing, self-supporting, an self - propagating. A Scriptural independent New Testament church is an organized band of baptized believers practicing the New Testament ordinances of baptism and the Lord's Supper and actively engaged in carrying out the Great Commission. The foundation for independence is based on New Testament principles - 1.) the competence of the individual to know God's will, and 2.) the responsibility of the church to carry out God's will is based on the foundation that its members know God's will. The final governing authority in the autonomous Baptist church is the church itself directed by its Head, the Lord Jesus Christ.

Distinctive #3 - Priesthood of all believers

Every born-again believer may pray directly to God through Jesus Christ, the High Priest, without a human intercessor. Jesus is the ONLY mediator between man and God the Father (I Timothy 2:5). Jesus is not only the believer's Savior and Lord, but also his High Priest. (Hebrews 4:14-16)

Distinctive #4 - Two ordinances of the local church

There are two ordinances o fhte local church - baptism and the Lord's supper. An ordinance is "An outward rite appointed by Christ to be administered in the church as a visible sign of the saving truth of the Christian faith." The Baptist church does NOT teach that baptism or the Lord's supper have ANY saving power. Baptism is an outward symbol of an inward reality - the individual who has already placed his faith and trust in Christ alone shows that he is identifying himself with the Lord by being baptized. He is showing that he has died with Christ, been buried with Christ, and has been raised to walk a new life. Saving faith ALWAYS PRECEDES baptism. Baptists believe that baptism by immersion is the only correct way to be baptized. Why? The word "baptize" means immerse. Only immersion correctly pictures that which baptism symbolizes -death, burial, and resurrection. Sprinkling and pouring cannot symbolize this.

*Let me deviate from the study to put in a thought of my own. I have had someone tell me that they heard that if you join a Baptist church, you will have to be re-baptized in that church. For instance, if you were baptized in a Bible church after you were saved, you will have to be re-baptized when you join a Baptist church. Our church does not teach that, and I have never heard that taught from other independent fundamental Baptist churches that I have gone to before. After I trusted Christ for salvation, I was baptized by immersion in the Bible church that my family attended when I was a little girl. When I joined the Baptist church I go to now, I did not have to be re-baptized, because I had already been Scripturally baptized after I was saved.

Back to the study. The second ordinance is the Lord's Supper. The Lord's Supper is a memorial table, picturing the body and blood of Christ and serving ONLY as a reminder of His sacrifice. The ordinances were instituted by Christ on the eve of His death (Matthew 26:26-30). The purpose is given in I Corinthians 11:25-26 - for a memorial. We reject the doctrine of infant baptism, since individuals must decide for themselves. We also do not practice infant church membership, since members must be saved, scripturally baptized, and request church membership. These two ordinances are not sacraments. They neither give salvation, help salvation, nore keep salvation. We observe the ordinances due to commandment (Matthew 28:19-20; I Corinthians 11:24).

Distinctive #5 - Individual soul liberty

Each individual has the right to worship God according to the dictates of his own conscience. He can worship God as he believes the Bible teaches. People have individual wills, and God directly instructs individuals. God deals with people as individuals and judges people as individuals. Each person has individual soul liberty to choose his own church, determine his own spiritual fate, and decide what the Bible teaches (or deny the Bible altogether). We must never force our beliefs on others. Share the gospel and biblical truths, yes, but not coerce.

Distinctive #6 - Separation

Separation is to be in three realms - political, ecclesiastical, and personal. Political separation - God established civil government, and He instructs the Christian in their duty to government - pray for it, submit to it, support it, and honor it. Ecclesiastical separation - as a church, we must separate from apostasy - II Corinthians 6:14-17, Romans 16:16-17; II John 10-11; II Thessalonians 3:6,14. Personal separation - a Christian is to be personally separated FROM the world (Romans 12:1-2) UNTO Christ (I Thessalonians 1:9). In order to take the question out of questionable activities, there are three things to consider. First LOOK UP (Colossians 3:2) - does it violate a direct command from God, and will God be glorified through my participation? Second, LOOK IN (I Corinthians 6:19-20) - what effect will it have on me, on my mind, on my body? How would I feel if Christ returned while I was invovled in this activity? Third, LOOK OUT (I Corinthians 8:12) - what effect will it have on the unsaved, or on the saved (it is a sin to cause a brother to stumble). The Christian has the privilege of living a holy life for Christ. This is also our duty. It is far from boring; and it is not restrictive. It is a joy to please our great God and Savior.

Distinctive #7 - Two officers of the local church

The offices of pastors and deacons are the only Bible-recognized offices in the local church. The congregation chooses both. The Bible clearly teaches the qualifications and responsibilities of both the pastor and the deacons.

An independent fundamental Baptist church is the church that I choose to attend because it is the kind of church that I believe best follows the guidelines of the New Testament church. I'm not saying my church is a perfect, flawless church. No church is, because it is made up of imperfect people. I do believe God has led my husband and I and our children to the church that we attend. Our pastor teaches and preaches Biblical truth. It is not that we blindly swallow everything he says, hook, line and sinker without even thinking or searching the Scriptures. No, we do listen carefully and turn to the passages he is preaching from and we confirm whether the things he is saying do indeed line up with the Bible. Our pastor does not just preach "feel good" sermons; on the contrary, he preaches straight from the Word of God and does not skip over topics just because they might offend. Does he intentionally try to offend people? Absolutely not, but he does not just skip over things that might be offensive.

We use the King James Version of the Bible because we believe that is the most accurate translation available. We sing congregationl songs from hymnals, the great hymns of the faith. We do not have a band that plays rocky "Christian" music, nor do we sing any "Christian Contemporary" music. We believe that most "CCM" music sounds worldly - because of the beat and "watered-down" lyrics- and that it often seeks to glorify the performer through intricate vocal techniques, rather than the Lord. However, don't think that if you were to walk into our church during the singing that it would sound like a monastery. We use instruments, and our music director picks out arrangements that have meaningful words and beautiful music. We hope to soon have a full orchestra as we add more musical people to our church. I wear a dress or skirt to church, as do many of our ladies. However, some of our women do wear pants to church. While I have a personal conviction to not wear pants myself, I do not look down on those that do not share the same conviction. God does not love me more because I came in a skirt. Wearing a skirt, in and of itself, is not an indication that I am right with God.  For all of these things I have mentioned in this paragraph, our church does not teach that God loves us more because we do these things. Our church does NOT teach that any of these things give salvation. Our church does not look down on those who do not believe as we do. I have always heard our pastor give Bible verses to back up what he is preaching. IF something is his opinion, he is careful to distinguish between his opinion, and a clear directive in Scripture.

I am not saying that no other church teaches the Truth. I have been members in three different Bible churches (non-denominational) and all three taught truth from God's Word. I have even visited a few Community churches and Southern Baptist churches, and found them to also teach truth from the Bible. Now SOME of those same churches had some issues on which I strongly disagreed with. However, it is my personal belief that an independent fundamental Baptist church is the type of church that best follows the guidelines of a New Testament church. This post is simply meant to give information, and not condemn or point fingers in any way.

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